Friday, August 26, 2016

Dear Kerby,

Several years ago when I first was writing letters I shared my coming out story and how open I was when I felt free to be me. At that time in my life a lot of things were about being open about my sexuality. I wrote several letters taking about sexuality. Things have changed since that time on my own in college.

After dating a few guys and having an ex I found a man that I do not want to give up. The good things I love about him outweigh all the not so good that comes with him. I have been seeing him since 2013 and continue to see him on a somewhat regular basis. Things have changed over the years. This relationship is a difficult thing between us. He never gives up on me; some days I would like to give up on him (I come close) but never do. He is always on my mind through the good and the bad.

This summer I started another job and that means new people in my life (on a regular basis). My coworkers have some interesting conversations about the opposite sex and relationships. I feel like I am back in high school. A coworker asked me earlier this week if I had a girlfriend. I told her I did not have one. Then, they asked me when the last time I had a "girlfriend" and I told her it was the night of the 8th grade dance. I knew this girl for years and it seemed important to have a date to the dance but we hardly danced together. It felt awkward. Another coworker invited me to her birthday coming up in September. She asked about me bringing a girl. I never once mentioned my boyfriend. I do not know why.

Telling my coworkers I am gay is not one of those things that comes up when my (straight) coworkers talk about their significant other. Sometimes I find it a tad hard bring up in a conversation. By no means am I afraid of who I am. I feel it is no body's business but mine who I date. I have to live with my choices. If you see me with my boyfriend or find out about him somehow then that is fine. Feel free to talk to me about him if you want. I will not get upset. When I am with him we are not the couple to show public affection. The most you might see us do is holding hands. His hands are the best because they fit right inside mine. You might just think he is a friend. I might have to correct you on that, if I feel like it.

In a few weeks time my current job will be gone and I will be around a new group of people. I am not sure what to say to them. I might feel the same way as I do now because who I am inside is not rapidly changing even though my life on the outside is.

Talk to you later,
Bluelaugh

More Than Friends

Saturday, August 13, 2016


Dear Kerby,

Even though the attached picture is out of focus, I somehow think it is the best photo in the set of photos that I am currently editing. This does not mean I will be taking all out of focus photos from now on.

Talk to you later,
Bluelaugh







Fuzzy Love

Friday, August 12, 2016

Dear Kerby,

In June I got some new natural Schmidt's Deodorant to replace the bad kind I was using. The paste worked extremely well about 95% of the time. I had a few sweat issues that did not last long. After I went through two small jars of paste in two months time I switched to the stick. I find the stick to have the same strong scent as the paste. I took off my black shirt from work and found white pit stains. I put the deodorant on after putting the shirt on. What gives? I am going to see how long the stick last compared to the paste. Still loving the deodorant.

In June my mom got me some new white record dividers for my ever growing record collection. She sent them with my brother to have labels painted on them. I have not seen them since. Most likely August will come and go and I will not see them. I need to reorganize my records when the dividers come in just to make sure I have the right categories when I checked my genres a while back.

Due to me working on editing photos, working at the restaurant, and looking for a new job I have not had the time to use my new camera. I would love to get familiar with it before assigning myself to do multiple photo shoots. I could read the manual all day and change all the settings I like to make it "my camera" but that does not make me an expert. Every place I go challenges me with the camera settings I need to use.

This guy at work is still being a flirt/tease. He has this personality that makes you love him and joke around with him. From time to time he drops subtle hints that he is into women but he does not actually come out and say it. I get the hint from him some times when I go a little too far on the "gay" comments. I started seeing him at the restaurant where I work back in June and he started working with us in July. He works up stairs at the bar and I work in the kitchen. He is one of those fit muscle guys that cane not keep his hand off the food. As a result of that he is constantly in the kitchen. It is not that I can really have him because I have a man of my own.

I can not believe "summer" is over and the school buses are back on the roads. I recall the days I was in public school and all the memories come crashing into one giant looped highlight reel.

Talk to you later,
Bluelaugh

Update It

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Dear Kerby,

In July I had a birthday. I was asked the first time what I wanted for my birthday. I told my mom I wanted a set of dividers for my records. That was fine. She got them. My brother has them so that he can paint the correct genre labels on them. Closer to my birthday my mom asked me again what I wanted for my birthday. I told her I was saving up for a camera. I was looking for a used model, body only. When my mom asked what the used prices were I knew something was going to happen.

My mom had me on eBay one weekend searching for the Nikon DF camera I wanted at a price she could afford. I lost one auction but then made an offer on another. When the offer expired I put a bid on another camera with a body, lens, and battery. It was a refurbished camera with the whole package. I was surprised that my mom wanted to spend that money on a new camera for me. I offered to pay for part of it due to it being a tad more than she thought it would be. Later on I got my money back when she decided to pay 100% of the cost.

Later on after my birthday I got an Amazon gift card. This went to buying a camera card a bag. The seller had bag dimensions that were close to the size of the camera bag insert size. To my knowledge the insert would fit in any bag that was the right size to turn it into a camera bag. This particular insert was described a shockproof as well as padded. Moving over to ETSY I found a camera strap. I would say that this strap is made from the webbing strips of the old folding lawn chairs. The strap has three stripes: navy blue, light blue, and copper brown. I am waiting for the packages to arrive so I can use the camera.

With the new camera came more pixels and a larger size. This means that I might have to resize the photos to fit on the internet. I hope that this does not become a problem. I am looking forward to higher quality prints and maybe going with larger frames every once in a while. I like my double 12x24 inch frame and I might not give that up any time soon.

I have no plans to give up my Nikon 1 V1 camera any time soon. I love the cameras compact size and ability to take video (not that I do much video). I plan to keep it in the same case/bag as a grab and go option for when I want to use the camera, this is partly why I am getting a new bag for the new camera.

Talk to you later,
Bluelaugh

Update Your Camera

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